Supporting Your Child’s Wellbeing

Everyday experiences that help children feel connected, confident and emotionally supported.

About This Guide

As parents and carers, we naturally want our children to be happy.

But emotional wellbeing isn't about making sure children feel happy all the time. Nor is it about protecting them from every disappointment, worry, difficult emotion or challenging experience.

Life will contain all of those things.

Supporting wellbeing is about something broader.

It is about helping children feel safe, connected, valued and able to be themselves, while gradually developing the emotional and practical skills they need to navigate everyday life.

Children are growing up in a complex and rapidly changing world. School, friendships, family life, technology, social media, expectations, wider influences and uncertainty about the future can all affect how they experience themselves and the world around them.

We cannot control every influence our children encounter.

We cannot prevent every difficulty.

And supporting wellbeing doesn't mean trying to.

What we can do is create strong foundations around them: relationships in which they feel connected, opportunities to move and play, space for emotions, encouragement to solve problems, permission to make mistakes and adults who notice when something may have changed.

Often, these foundations are built through very ordinary moments.

This guide explores some of those moments and how everyday family life can support children's emotional wellbeing long before something becomes a problem.

1. Connection Is Part of Wellbeing

Family life can be busy.

Between school, work, activities, appointments, household responsibilities and technology, meaningful conversation can easily become something we intend to have rather than something we actually make time for.

But connection doesn't always require a planned important conversation.

Talk in the car.
Chat while preparing dinner.
Walk together.
Sit on the end of the bed.

Notice when your child wants to tell you something, even when the thing they want to tell you doesn't seem particularly important to you.

And conversations don't always have to begin with:

“How was school?”

Be curious about them, not only about what they have done.

Ask about their ideas, interests, friendships, favourite things, things they wonder about, what makes them laugh and what they would change if they could.

Most importantly, listen.

Children are more likely to continue communicating when they experience adults who are genuinely interested in what they have to say.

The subject of the conversation may seem insignificant.

The experience of being listened to isn't.

2. Make Space for Movement, Play and Creativity

Movement supports physical wellbeing, but it can also contribute to emotional wellbeing.

It doesn't have to mean organised sport, expensive activities or competitive exercise.

Walking.
Cycling.
Swimming.
Dancing.
Playing outside.
Kicking a ball around.
Exploring somewhere new.

For younger children especially, movement and play often happen naturally together.

Where possible, find activities your child genuinely enjoys rather than focusing solely on what we think they should enjoy.

And sometimes join them.

Walking or doing something together can also create opportunities for conversation that feel much easier than sitting opposite one another and being asked to talk.

Protect Some Space for Real-World Play

Technology is now part of childhood.

Online spaces can provide entertainment, learning, creativity, friendship and connection. For many children and young people, their online and offline worlds aren't completely separate; both form part of their social lives and experiences.

The aim therefore doesn't need to become screens versus real life.

Think instead about balance.

Children also need opportunities to use their bodies, imaginations and senses.

To explore physical environments.

Become bored.

Invent games.

Create things.

Interact face-to-face.

And discover what captures their attention without something else continually choosing it for them.

A cardboard box can still become a spaceship.

A stick can still become a magic wand.

The garden can still become an unexplored world.

And for an older child, creativity might mean cooking, music, photography, making something, fixing something, writing, drawing, walking, sport or discovering an interest that belongs entirely to them.

Play and creativity aren't simply ways of filling time.

They provide opportunities to experiment, problem-solve, imagine, take manageable risks and direct some of their own experience.

3. Remember That Learning Happens Everywhere

Education matters, but children's learning extends far beyond the classroom.

Cooking teaches.
Shopping teaches.
Nature teaches.
Conversation teaches.
Making mistakes teaches.
Helping around the home teaches.
Trying something unfamiliar teaches.
Relationships teach.
Even boredom can teach children something about how they choose to use their own time.

Children develop confidence when they have opportunities to participate in everyday life rather than having everything organised or completed for them.

Invite them to help.
Share skills.
Learn something new together.
Let them ask questions you don't know the answer to.
Allow them to become the person who knows more about something than you do.

There is something valuable in a child experiencing an adult saying: “I don't know. Shall we find out?”

Being curious together can be more valuable than always needing to be the adult who knows.

4. Notice Their World

Adults and children can experience exactly the same moment very differently.

Something insignificant to us may feel enormously important to them.

Something we walk straight past may completely capture their attention.

A friendship difficulty that appears minor through adult eyes may occupy much of a child's emotional world.

Something they are excited about may make absolutely no sense to us.

Part of supporting wellbeing is remaining interested in how life feels from where they are standing.

Slow down occasionally and notice what your child notices.

Listen when they tell you something for the fifth time.

Ask what they think.

Wonder with them.

Show some interest in the things that matter to them, even when those things don't particularly interest you.

And notice changes in their mood, behaviour, interests or relationships without immediately assuming you know what those changes mean.

Children need adults who notice more than whether their shoes are on, their homework is finished and their school bag is packed.

They need to know that we notice them.

5. Make Room for Every Emotion

Supporting wellbeing doesn't mean trying to replace difficult emotions with positive ones.

Children will feel:

angry.
Worried.
Jealous.
Frightened.
Disappointed.
Embarrassed.
Sad.
Frustrated.

These emotions are part of being human.

Instead of immediately trying to make the feeling disappear, we can help children understand what they are experiencing.

You might say: “That sounds really disappointing.” “I can see you're frustrated.” “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Sometimes children won't want to talk.

Sometimes they won't know what they're feeling.

And sometimes what they need most is simply to experience an emotion without an adult immediately trying to make it better.

This can be difficult for parents because our child's discomfort often creates discomfort in us too.

But emotional wellbeing doesn't develop because children never experience difficult feelings.

It develops partly through discovering:

I can experience this feeling.
Someone can stay alongside me while I experience it.
And the feeling can change.

When children gradually learn that emotions can be noticed, named, expressed and moved through, they develop a greater understanding of themselves.

6. Help Them Solve Without Always Solving

Our instinct when our child is struggling is often to make things better.

Sometimes they need us to intervene.

Sometimes they need comfort.

Sometimes they genuinely need our help.

And sometimes they need us to remain alongside them while they work out what to do next.

Try asking:

“What do you think might help?”
“What could you try?”
“What options do you have?”

or:

“Would you like me to listen, help you think about it, or help you do something?”

Small, manageable experiences of problem-solving give children opportunities to experience themselves as capable.

They can develop confidence, judgement, perseverance and self-trust through discovering that they can influence what happens next rather than always waiting for somebody else to provide the solution.

Being supported and being rescued are not the same thing.

Sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is remain close enough to help while leaving enough space for our child to discover what they can do for themselves.

7. Let Them Experience Everyday Life

Children need safety and protection.

They also need developmentally appropriate opportunities to experience challenge, uncertainty, disappointment and change.

We cannot develop resilience by removing every obstacle before a child encounters it.

Instead, we can provide a secure place from which they can explore.

Let them try.
Let them get something wrong.
Let them change their mind.
Let them experience disappointment.
Let them ask for help.
Let them discover that they can recover from an awkward moment.
Let them find out that the thing they thought would be easy was actually quite difficult.
And let them experience the satisfaction of working something out for themselves.

These experiences aren't interruptions to wellbeing.

They are part of developing it.

Children gradually discover that wellbeing doesn't depend upon everything going their way.

They can feel disappointed and recover.
Uncertain and still move forward.
Worried and ask for help.
Make a mistake and repair it.
Experience change and adapt.

And throughout all of this, we can remain somewhere safe for them to return.

8. Supporting Mental Health Before Difficulties Arise

We often talk about children's mental health when something has already become difficult.

But supporting emotional wellbeing begins much earlier.

It happens when children experience safe relationships.

When they are listened to.
When they play and move.
When they learn how emotions feel.
When they discover how to solve problems.
When they experience belonging.
When they develop interests.
When they are allowed to make mistakes.
When adults notice when something changes.

And when they know that asking for help is something they are always allowed to do.

None of these things can guarantee that a child will never experience a mental-health difficulty.

Nor should everyday parenting ever be presented as a substitute for professional support when a child needs it.

Prevention isn't about creating children who never struggle.

It is about strengthening some of the relationships, experiences and skills that can help children navigate life and making it easier for them to seek support when they need it.

Supporting Wellbeing — Check-In

There isn't a checklist for creating a happy child.

Instead, these questions can help us think about the environment and relationships around them.

Connection
Does my child have regular opportunities to connect with me without the conversation always being about school, behaviour or responsibilities?
Voice
Do I make space to hear their ideas, opinions and experiences?
Emotion
Can my child experience difficult emotions without feeling that they need to hide or quickly change them?
Movement and Play
Do they have opportunities to move, play, create or explore in ways they enjoy?
Independence
Do I give them age-appropriate opportunities to try, decide, solve and sometimes get things wrong?
Belonging
Does my child experience themselves as valued for who they are, rather than simply what they achieve?
Individuality
Do they have space to develop interests, preferences and ways of expressing themselves that may be different from mine?
Support
Does my child know who they can turn to when something feels difficult?

And perhaps the simplest question:

Does my child know that they can come to me, even when something has gone wrong?

When You Are Concerned

Children's moods, behaviour and needs naturally change as they grow.

But if you notice persistent or significant changes in your child's mood, behaviour, sleep, eating, relationships, school engagement or ability to manage everyday life, don't feel that you have to work everything out yourself.

Talk with your child.
Remain curious about what may be happening.
And seek appropriate professional advice or support when needed.

Early support can make a difference, and asking for help is not an indication that either you or your child has failed.

It is simply another way of responding to what your child may need.

10 Curious Conversation Prompts

For talking, laughing and getting to know your child.

If you could invent something to make life easier or more fun, what would it be?
What made you smile or laugh today?
If you could be really good at something you can't do yet, what would you choose?
If you could plan our perfect day together, what would we do?
What's something you know lots about that you could teach me?
If you could change one rule anywhere — at home, at school or in the world — what would you change, and why?
What's something you've seen recently that made you really curious?
If you could visit anywhere, real or imaginary, where would you go and why?
What's something about you that you think is really special or interesting?
If you were the grown-up for the day, what would you do differently?

10 Let's Talk About It Prompts

For exploring thoughts, feelings and experiences together.

What helps you feel safe and comfortable when you're worried or unsure?
What do grown-ups sometimes misunderstand about children or young people?
When you've had a difficult day, what helps you most — talking, having some space, getting help or something else?
Is there anything you wish grown-ups asked you about more often?
What makes you feel really listened to?
When something goes wrong, what helps you work out what to do next?
What makes you feel proud of yourself, even if nobody else notices it?
What makes a really good friend?
What's something you'd like to have more choice about as you get older?
What is one thing we could do differently in our family that would make everyday life a little better for you?

There are no right answers.

These questions aren't a test and don't need to lead anywhere in particular.

Choose one.

Stay curious.

Let the conversation unfold.

Your child's answer might be funny, surprising, thoughtful or completely unexpected.

The important part is making space to hear it.

A Final Thought

Supporting children's wellbeing isn't another task to add to an already busy parenting list.

Much of it happens through how we live alongside them.

Talk.
Listen.
Notice.
Play.
Move.
Explore.
Allow mistakes.
Encourage curiosity.
Make space for feelings.
Let them discover what they can do.

And keep building a relationship in which your child knows: Whatever is happening, I can come to you.

The Shift Space Takeaway

Wellbeing isn't about creating a childhood without difficulty. It is about helping children develop the relationships, confidence and emotional resources to navigate life as it unfolds.

We cannot guarantee happiness.
We cannot remove every disappointment.
We cannot protect children from every challenge they will encounter.

But through everyday connection, curiosity, encouragement, boundaries, opportunities and listening, we can help create something incredibly valuable:

A child who knows they are valued, knows difficult feelings can be navigated, knows asking for help is allowed and knows they do not have to face life alone.

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